I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
