You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
