Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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