He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
