I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
