I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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