whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im holly from the hills drunk
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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