I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
