New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
