I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
