So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you never un-have a 4some
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
