She just used a chaser for red wine.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What a dumb baby whore.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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