My first STD was from a foam party
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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