she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
