Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Where did you get a picture of my penis
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
