im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
