I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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