I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
