watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
