I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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