Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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