sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
