i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
