I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
