what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
