holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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