we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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