Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
