I heard we made out
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
