I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
