She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
