i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
not ubering you a puppy
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
