So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
