Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I believe in your delicious
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
