i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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