Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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