I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
