It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
