This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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