You just made me feel so damn special
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
