There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
