Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
