You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
