yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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