i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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