you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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