why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
