Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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