All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
