wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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